Barbara Doyle's song, I Will Not Be Moved (Stand In Holy Places)

Here's another amazing song by Barb. 

This woman is gifted. 

Love it... thanks for sharing your talent with us all!!!

1 John 1:5

"God is light, and in him is no darkness at all."
That makes me happy.

What it takes. The journey, the goal... to Let God.

Our Lord is like the dentists. . . . 

Dozens of people go to Him to be cured 

of some one particular sin which they are ashamed of. . . . 

Well, He will cure it all right: but He will not stop there. 

That may be all you asked; 

but if you once call Him in, He will give you the full treatment. . . . 

“Make no mistake,” He says, “if you let Me, I will make you perfect. The moment you put yourself in My hands, that is what you are in for. Nothing less, or other, than that. You have free will, and if you choose, you can push Me away. But if you do not push Me away, understand that I am going to see this job through. Whatever suffering it may cost you in your earthly life, whatever inconceivable purification it may cost you after death, whatever it costs Me, 

I will never rest, nor let you rest, until you are literally perfect—

until my Father can say without reservation that He is well pleased with you, as He said he was well pleased with Me. This I can do and will do. But I will not do anything less.”

. . . You must realize from the outset that the goal 

toward which He is beginning to guide you 

is absolute perfection; and 

no power in the whole universe, except you yourself, can prevent Him from taking you to that goal. 

That is what you are in for. 

And it is very important to realize that.

(C. S. Lewis, The Joyful Christian, 77-78; emphasis added.)

It's up to you. What do you say? Heh. 

I say...  Keep bringing it on.

Doctrine & Covenants 8:8

What Is Your Personal Ranking?

"What is your personal ranking? I thank God we have the right and responsibility to determine that ourselves." Marvin J. Ashton

No one else determines your ranking. Only YOU DO!!!!!

He gives us a few steps to follow as we determine our personal ranking before God:
Remember the Good examples of those around you
1. Act Instead of React (LOVED this one)
2. The Lord Loves Men and Women of Integrity
3. Go Forward Humbly
4. Remember to Take Courage
5. Build Your Foundation
6. Be like the Good Samaritan

"Remember with God's help we can know and share good cheer and happiness now and in all the days ahead. Today is a new beginning. Today is a new opportunity."

Boo-ya! Cause sometimes... yesterday was crap. (excuse my g-rated french) Today is always a fresh slate. Living today because of something in the past that was not so great or not so nice has never gotten me too far. Living like today is a fresh chance to start a new...? Now THAT is where it's at. To DO that...? There's the challenge. It's hard, but it's possible. It takes 'higher thinking' (more on that another day)

I personally have found that people who are happy are happy in spite of their circumstances and in spite of what others think of them. A persons satisfaction or dissatisfaction with life tends to rub off on the people around them, whether they intend it or not. I liked Ashton's talk. It was a good reminder to me to REMEMBER the good examples around me. At the end of the day, it's our personal ranking with God and not man that matters and that's how I think we should respond in our personal attitudes, words and actions; to God's opinion of us, not man's. Each day we choose happiness or misery. Like he said, it's our right and responsibility to determine our personal ranking.

For more insight and awesome examples, here's the link to the talk I reference above. Marvin J. Ashton BYU Devotional Nov 1984. Not to mention it's the year BYU won the national championship, so there are plenty of football accolades lacing his talk. :)

A little about this man. Marvin J. Ashton. He was called as an apostle December 2, 1971. This was reported after his call:

Soon after Elder Ashton’s appointment was announced, he was asked by a reporter if the call shocked him. His answer was, “No, the call didn’t shock me; it surely surprised me, but it didn’t shock me. No one who is striving to do his duty in the Church should ever be shocked when a call comes.”

AMEN!!!! Shouldn't we ALL be prepared for ANY call that may come our way? And respond to ANY call with equal enthusiasm and determination to fulfill it? I love that. I agree whole heartily. I like this guy. Growing up, I always remembered him as the 'smiley apostle'. He passed away 25 February 1994.

A couple of favorite quotes:

“It occurs to me that there are probably hundreds or even thousands who do not understand what worthiness is. Worthiness is a process, and perfection is an eternal trek. We can be worthy to enjoy certain privileges without being perfect” (Ensign, May 1989, p. 20).

“Young people, bearers of the priesthood, God wants us to be victorious. He wants you to triumph over all of your foes. Stalwart and brave we must stand. God is at the helm. There is no reason for defeat” (Ensign, Nov. 1989, p. 37).

And one last one:

“When we have a yearning and don’t know what it is for, perhaps it’s our soul longing for its heartland, longing to be no longer alienated from the Lord and the pursuit of something much higher, better, and more fulfilling than anything this earth has to offer,” “May our yearning for home be the motivation we need to so live that we can return to our heavenly home with God our Father on a forever basis” (Ensign, Nov. 1992, p. 23).

'nough said.

Sacrifice is sometimes an Investment

"You will come to know that what appears today to be a sacrifice will prove instead to be the greatest investment that you will ever make." Gordon B. Hinckley

The loyal camel

I have heard it told that camels, although rather temperamental creatures (spitting, jumping, etc.), are in reality quite loyal to their masters. They will allow their master to place a load of burdens on their back and walk with them for miles and miles. At the end of the day, the camel will kneel down and then allow the master to unload the burdens for the night. The master will then inspect the camel for worn, red or swollen spots so he can adjust the load the next day so as to not harm the camel so it can continue the journey, pack in tow.

The analogy and challenge issued with this little tale, is to kneel down at night and allow God to take my burdens of the day, for the night. Trusting that in the morning, I will be ready to take them again and continue my journey. Trusting that He will adjust the load in a way I can manage and handle. No need to carry the burdens alone. No need to let them drag you down or wear you out. Loyal to the master and allowing Him to take care of me when He gives me a few loads to carry each day, walking with Him each day.

Flying like an egg?

It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad. 
C. S. Lewis

A couple of quotes for me... and a thought or two.

"If we can trust the answers God has already given, why not the answers yet to be given, including patiently awaiting the data from our first estate that will illuminate the imponderables of our second estate?"
Neal A. Maxwell

"Because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ we may learn from our experience without being condemned by that experience." Elder Bednar quoting Elder Bruce C. Hafen

Life is hard. Having faith is hard. It takes just about all of my effort to not only have faith, but to act in faith. And what do I have faith in??? Faith in Jesus Christ, that he is the Savior and Redeemer. Without that first, all of the acting in faith in the world would amount to a whole lot of nothing. So, I have faith that He lives, that He will come again and that I have a purpose in all of this crazy stuff called life. And then, I ask questions. I get answers and exercise faith in things not seen and I act. One step at a time, into the dark. Waiting for the light to come on. Trusting that I am not alone and that something I do will matter to someone, somewhere. Trusting that I can make a difference to someone or somewhere. And... when I mess up. (which happens more frequently than I'd like to relate here) I fall back, once again, on the faith that comes first. The Atonement. So, I believe and trust all over again as I get up, brush myself off, and try again. When I think I am too tired to do one more thing or take one more step, I do anyway because that's when I know I'm in the thick of it and there's one thing I know about myself. I like to be in the thick of the battle of life. I need to be there. Standing still doesn't do it for me. One thing I know is there is more to be learned and more to do, so I keep insisting that God continue to lead me along and show me the way. No matter how daunting and INSANE some of the roads I walk down may seem at first. My view is narrow and limited and so I trust God's guidance, through His Spirit that the feelings, impressions and promptings I get are meant to teach me and help me progress, regardless of the timing or the outcome. And every once in a while, like Abraham, it seems like I'm climbing a mountain to do something I'd rather not do and I don't understand why I'm doing it; an angel is sent at the last possible moment to save me and God lets me know my willingness to obey was enough. So, with faith and gratitude in my heart for all of the angels He has sent and the roads He has led me down and illuminated as I go, I say, bring on the data of that first estate, the experience of this life and the imponderables that will come. Bring it on...

Mom's talk on Compassionate Service

I recently read this scripture: Helaman 5:6-7

"I have given unto you the names of our first parents who came out of the land of Jerusalem; and this I have done that when you remember your names ye may remember them; and when ye remember them ye may remember their works; and when ye remember their works ye may know how that it is said, and also written, that they were good. Therefore, my sons, I would that ye should do that which is good, that it may be said of you, and also written, even as it has been said and written of them."

Reading that reminded me of my parents because my middle name is a combo of their two names. I hope I can be 'good' like them too. That reminded me of this letter my mom sent me in March 1988 which included the talk found below. Mom didn't really keep much of a journal. I'm glad I have this little bit of her. When I read it, I can hear her saying it.

Mom's talk on Compassionate Service:

Concerning the baptism covenant, The prophet Alma taught that it is incumbent upon those desiring baptism to be “willing to bear on another’s burdens…, mourn with those that mourn…, comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life.” Mosiah 18:8 –willing to bear on another’s burdens – Mourn with those that mourn – comfort those that stand in need of comfort—

Another way to express this concept is charity – the pure love of Christ, that is, loving and caring as Christ would love and care. President Romney expressed it this way in the 1977 Welfare Session of Gen. Conf. “Consecration is the giving of one’s time, talents, and means to care for those in need, whether spiritually or temporally.” Speaking from the point of view of a woman, these concepts usually come to fruition in actions called “Compassionate Service”, usually within the framework of Visiting Teaching.

When President Kaufman asked me to speak, I immediately burst into tears. He said, “Sister Busby, if it really bothers you to speak, we’ll see about…” I said, it’s not speaking, it’s the subject—COMPASSIONATE SERVICE!” It is difficult to speak of things tender to the heart.

I have divided my thoughts into 3 categories which I have given “light-hearted” titles, hoping that this would keep me from weeping – I’m not sure it will help.

1^st THERE ARE PLENTY OF GOLD STARS FOR EVERYONE

2^nd DELAYED REACTION

3^rd WHO’S THE BOSS HERE, ANYWAY?

While the experiences I will relate may be similar to your own, my purpose is to remind you of your experiences and the feelings you felt, in order to raise your awareness of and commitment to Compassionate Service.

1^st – THERE ARE PLENTY OF GOLD STARS FOR EVERONE. You might define the term Gold Stars as “warm fuzzies”. Or “positive feedback”. I prefer the definition found in 2 Nephi 2:25, as Lehi taught that “…men are that they might have JOY”. Gold Stars will mean JOY. I will relate some instances, used by permission.

Fifteen year old Terry joined the church in Vermont. After a short period she became inactive. Time passed and she moved to Connecticut and became the mother of 3 children. The last child born was 18 months of age, though large and robust appearing, was born with Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. He required constant monitoring – 24 hours a day, to make sure he was still breathing. She, herself, had several serious health problems. Her family was unable or unwilling to help her. When the baby was a few months old, Gloria was assigned as her Visiting Teacher. She assessed the situation and spent much time caring for the children and home, seeing that the mother received needed rest and moral support. She became not only a friend but like a mother. During this time, Terry underwent serious cancer surgery, at which time, other RS sisters also provided help.

Terry is coming back to Church and this past Sunday bore her testimony to the JOY she feels in returning to the fold and of the love she feels for each member of the Ward. She feels strength from them as she is receiving opposition to her determination to tread the sometimes difficult road back.

I asked Gloria, “How do you FEEL about what’s happening?” “I’m thrilled. I’m happy, she’s like one of my own children.” Gold Stars! Joy! There’s plenty here.

I have been visiting teaching over 30 years and have seldom been involved in the kind of colossal effort just described, but I firmly believe that the faithful consistent visits by sisters made month in and month out year by year are of equal magnitude. My mother was this kind of visiting teacher for 70 years until she became incapacitated recently. She would always invite every sister to come out, and I learned from her.

A couple of years ago Barbara’s records were sent to our ward. After some difficulty, we found her living downtown and up 2 flights of stairs above a Laundromat. At first, she was hesitant to have us come and difficult to make appointments with. When it got toward the end of the month, I would just drop in, sometimes with a loaf of bread, a pot of soup, or once, a birthday cake. I received this note from her – “Sister Busby, I just wanted to drop you a note to say how nice it was to see you and your daughter last night. Your daughter seems very nice. Thank you so much for the lovely cake. You gave it to me at the right time. It really helped to boost my spirits. Thank you for making my day complete. Love, Barbara” Gold Stars!

As we became friends, I found out more about Barbara. She joined the Church as a young adult and married in the temple, but her husband died of Parkinson’s disease and she moved here to live with her mother & brother, whom she helps support. She has an artificial leg, and other health problems, rides the bus to work in New Haven every day, climbing those 2 flights of stairs each time. She is such a good example of so many principles taught in the Visiting Teaching messages – caring for her family, being content, living within her means, being concerned for others. I am humbled and it is a joy to teach her. Taking a cue from my mother, each month we invited Barbara to attend Church with us, but she would say that her health was poor or that she was not ready to come back yet. Last fall while I was out of town, Sister Cousins, my RS president, visited her and not only committed her to attend Church, but also challenged her to get ready to return to the temple. Rides were arranged and Barbara began to come out. Now Barbara not only brings herself, but is offering rides to others. She missed a few times and when I called, she said, “I’ve been sick, but I’ll be back. My Bible is bulging with my tithing money. I am determined to be a full tithe payer.” I said, “Barbara, How do you feel about it?” “I feel GOOD.” “How do you feel about being back at Church?” “I feel GOOD. Before you came I thought the Church had forgotten about me.” Barbara is feeling JOY and because she is, I am feeling JOY too.

2^nd DELAYED REACTION – Sometimes it takes a while to see results. In California, we lived on a cul de sac. One day Glenna and her family moved in. After a while we learned that Glenna was one of those “Utah Mormons”. She let me know that she had become alienated from her parents and from the Church. I listened. Their records came to the Ward and visiting teachers were assigned. She would not let them in and a new teacher was assigned – me. She let me in, I listened. She was critical of everything – her husband, the schools, the neighbors. I listened & came to understand that, most of all, she was unhappy with herself. She would come over to visit and I began to call Glenna “My other church job” as we averaged about an hour a day. At some time they had been active enough for her husband, Frank, to join, but she had no such intentions for her 2 boys. I was Primary President and finally got Glenna to bring the boys to Primary but something rubbed her wrong, and it didn’t last long. In the wee hours one night, Frank called to see if I could come stay with the boys. The ambulance was coming. Glenna had tried to take her life. Glenna survived. I listened. And things continued much the same. Then Frank was transferred and they moved. Some years later I got a letter thanking me for all the time, listening and example of Church activity, crediting this for their present activity. Frank & Glenna were preparing for the temple, the boys were baptized & the older one was attending seminary, using the Book of Mormon I had given them one Christmas. I was astounded, partly out of surprise, but mostly because I didn’t feel that I had done that much. It was certainly a case of delayed reaction.

When I was taking my mother visiting teaching, Nada was in her district. She was married to a non-member and had no interest in the Church, but each month my mother would invite her to RS. I was younger then and less wise and would say, “Why do you keep asking? She’s never going to come. Then I moved away. Later I visited and a woman came up to me. “Do you remember me? You used to bring your mother to visit me. Because of her visits, I am active.” Joy was on her face. The next time I came, her husband was not only a member, but also in the Elders Quorum presidency.

3^rd WHO’S THE BOSS HERE, ANYWAY? – I have a friend who was visiting teacher to a young mother of 5 children, 4 of them preschoolers. As my friend visited her, she found that the woman had no transportation when she needed to go to the market or the doctors. She lacked the skills to discipline her children or to budget the family’s resources. My friend spent much time with the mother and children, providing needed transportation, as well as trying to teach her such things as: You don’t buy teddy bears and candy bars for the children every time you go to the market. You do make a list so you don’t impulse buy. She showed her step by step, how to prepare nutritious economical meals instead of pre-prepared packages. Through the VT messages and other means, she instructed her in needed parenting skills and encouraged her to attend Church. At the end of a couple of years, my friend was released. After her great efforts, she could see absolutely no change or progress. While this may be a case of delayed reaction, there also may never be a change.

In the 2^nd chapter of Mosiah, King Benjamin used his own example to teach the principle of service. He said, “I do not desire to boast, for I have only been in the service of God. And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings, ye are only in the service of your God.” I submit to you that even though we may see no progress, or, though we may even be rejected by those whom we visit, the value of our offering on the altar is not diminished, nor is the necessity of our making that offering diminished.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t always serve with the pure love of Christ. Sometimes it’s just because there’s a job to do, sometimes with grumbling and muttering. When I am climbing up those 2 flights of stairs and my knees are hurting, it helps to know that I am in the employ of my Father in Heaven and His Son and that they want the sister at the top of the stairs to know that they love her, the Church has not forgotten her, and her visiting Teachers love her.

There are “How To” books on every imaginable subject. We also have “How To” resources and we need to become acquainted with them: the scriptures, the Prophet, Church publications and our own local leaders. My RS President advised us to pray about our sisters by name and about their particular problems. This has made me more sensitive to my sister’s needs, as well as being a blessing in their lives. I know prayers are answered.

Brothers and Sisters, Compassionate Service brings JOY to the giver and the receiver. Sometimes the reaction may be delayed. We should remember, we are in the service of our God. I bear this testimony in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Other examples: (not used in the talk)

One late evening, the Bishop called and asked me to go up to the next street to Sister B’s house. I said, What’s happened? What’s wrong?” He said, “Just go. She needs you.” When I arrived, I found Sister B, who was pregnant, distraught and ill after receiving news that her husband had been arrested on a charge that was a complete surprise and horror to her. She needed someone to listen and comfort her as she worked over her dilemma in her mind. I stayed until the Bishop was able to get her husband released & they returned. Subsequently, because of the nature of the charge, her husband lost his job, and she had to go to work. I was able to babysit for her the rest of the year at no charge while she tried to pull her life together. I must pay tribute to the ward members, who were accepting of Brother B and the family. I never heard one word of gossip, nor did I relate to others the nature of that evening. Some years later, the family is still together, and Brother and Sister B are very active in the same ward.

There was an elderly blind widow in our ward. Her VT was most solicitous of her welfare. She saw that the sister received the scriptures and other books in braille. She called her often, as she lived alone. If the VT could not pick her up for Church, she arranged for other ward members to do so. As the sister could not sit for 3 hours this meant extra trips. The VT wanted her blind friend to have the blessings of the temple. She and the Bishop (Dad) worked with her and the VT drove her, the bishop, and other friends to Washington DC and stayed with her and comforted her after the long ride. The next morning it was a joy to assist her through the endowment session and then to be sealed to her husband. (The VT was, at the time, the stake RS President and it would have been easy to say she was too involved to give this kind of service, but she was a truly compassionate woman, who took time to serve as a humble Visiting Teacher.) Later, when the blind sister died, her VT was out of town and I was asked to help dress her body in the robes of the temple. As I joined 2 others, we had a prayer and felt great joy in being able to perform this last service for this good sister. It was a very spiritual experience.

What goes around... comes around

I sent a thank you note to a friend on Sunday. (OK... it was a thank you 'email'. Kind of like a note.) Just a small thing. No big deal. She had done something nice for me years ago and I thought of it and realized I had never thanked her for it. Prompted to write it... Sent. I moved on.

Today was shaping up to be a difficult day. Before anything of any significance could happen... I received and read her response to my email. 

It made my day. 

She made me smile. 

I never knew. 

Here's what she said: 

"I hope you know how much I have always looked up to you as an example of amazing strength and determination as I watched you go through some very huge challenges with faith and great courage! You were a wonderful RS President and I always marveled at how you put your heart and soul into your calling and served so well... and did it all so valiantly! Thank you for being my friend..."

This friend has no idea what is going on in my life. 

She doesn't know anything about me right now. 

She hit all the hot buttons with me

...amazing, strength, determination, faith, courage, heart, soul, served, valiantly, friend... 

All things I have been precisely trying to be and become. All things I was feeling very much NOT like. They say what goes around comes around. This was a good thing to come back at me. Reminding me that God sends angels in many forms. One of the best is in the form of a friend. That's tangible. Someone I can see. Someone I can return to. Someone I can call on anytime. I don't have to wonder if I really saw and heard what she said, I can always go back to it. I'm lacking, but I'm working on it... especially that 'faith' part.

It was a difficult day... but not too difficult because she and several other friends came through for me. 

This particular friends words started off the day.

Lifted my spirits.

And I was surrounded by a lot of love and care 

throughout the rest of my day, 

from very real, true friends.

"The fellowship of true friends 

who can hear you out, 

share your joys, 

help carry your burdens, 

and correctly counsel you 

is priceless." 

-Ezra Taft Benson

The gratitude I feel is working out the sorrow I feel. 

Sorrow is fleeting and this will be too. 

All sorrow has an end. 

Gratitude will carry me on 

through the good and the bad days. 

I am grateful to all of my friends, angels in my life, both seen and unseen.

Communication

Between what I think I want to say, 

what I believe I'm saying, 

what I say, 

what you want to hear, 

what you believe you understand, 

and what you understood, 

there are at least nine possibilities for misunderstanding.

author unconfirmed

Peace and Joy

Peace and Joy have been the theme of my life for several weeks. If I were a superstitious person, I'd be worried I would jinx myself by posting this. But, I'm not... so I'm going for it. I have been experiencing an unusual dose of peace and joy in my life. The reason? There are a lot of them. The MAIN one I can pin point is that I have been seeking God's guidance in EVERY aspect of my life. The result... He is guiding me along. Things have seemed pretty challenging and stressful during all of this and it has been amazing to me how seeking His help and following the spirit is giving me a sense of calm and confidence with so many things I am doing. The stress and challenges are there. I'm better able to deal with them because I KNOW He is there and aware of me and leading me along. I can FEEL IT. It is awesome. I've been *waiting* for something really dreadful to come along and put it to the test. Can I really feel this way all the time? Today... things began falling apart. I could feel the dread and panic trying to edge into my heart and mind. Nope. I want to face my trials with joy. I prayed for help and I was, once again, not disappointed. I took on each and every one of the falling pieces and found solutions to them and dealt with them. They are not all resolved, but many of them were. I was led to people and places that had the right answers to get me out of the bind(s) I found myself in. AND I felt happy as I went. I felt joy in the journey of this day. I KNEW I was being led along and that I would not be left to fall or falter alone in this. My mind was clear and calm and I was running like mad to keep up with all I knew I needed to do. It was great. It was energizing. I was in my element. Solving problems and making things happen. These were mountains. I wasn't climbing them... I was leaping over them. I still don't know what the ultimate outcome will be. It is of little concern to me what the outcome will be. It is more important to me that I am tackling the hard parts of life with JOY. Real happiness. I'm retraining the neurons to REMEMBER and ACT with Joy, Confidence and Courage. I'm facing life with Grit. About eight months ago, I began asking God to try me, purge me and refine me; Show me my weaknesses and turn them into strengths. I have not been disappointed and I say... Bring It On. It is hard, it is painful, it is the most fulfilling thing I have ever done. He keeps leading me down paths I never knew existed. Forget about me... I think EVERYONE should do this. Ask God some hard questions, LET HIM show you who you are and be willing to do what He would have you do. Try it. Test it. See just what miracles He will begin to perform in your life. See for yourself if you will begin to face YOUR trials with a new sense of ability. There's a lot to it. This is just a summary. The Atonement of Jesus Christ is the WHY. There is an enabling power associated with the atonement that is accessible her and now and it is life changing.

Romans 14:11-23

11 For it is written, As I live, saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God.

12 So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God.

13 Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother’s way.

14 I know, and am persuaded by the Lord Jesus, that there is nothing unclean of itself: but to him that esteemeth any thing to be unclean, to him it is unclean.

15 But if thy brother be grieved with thy meat, now walkest thou not charitably. Destroy not him with thy meat, for whom Christ died.

16 Let not then your good be evil spoken of:

17 For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; 

but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost.

18 For he that in these things serveth Christ is acceptable to God, and approved of men.

19 Let us therefore follow after the things 

which make for peace, 

and things wherewith one may edify another.

20 For meat destroy not the work of God. All things indeed are pure; but it is evil for that man who eateth with offence.

21 It is good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink wine, nor any thingwhereby thy brother stumbleth, or is offended, or is made weak.

22 Hast thou faith? have it to thyself before God. Happy is he that condemneth not himself in that thing which he alloweth.

23 And he that doubteth is damned if he eat, because he eateth not of faith: for whatsoever is not of faith is sin.

The Holy Ghost is the one who communicates to me the peace and joy I feel in the midst of my trials. I didn't think it was really possible, but I asked and within a week, I have been blessed to experience this. My MOST favorite scripture lately has been this one:

Philippians 4:4-7

4 Rejoice in the Lord alway: 

and again I say, 

Rejoice.

5 Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand.

6 Be careful for nothing; but 

in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving 

let your requests be made known unto God.

7 And the peace of God, 

which passeth all understanding, 

shall keep your hearts and minds 

through Christ Jesus.

I've read this scripture plenty of times. I've had moments of feeling that kind of peace. It can be felt all the time. At least, for a couple of weeks... I've felt it more consistently than understanding can comprehend. I should be a panicked bundle of nerves right now. I'm not. I'm still learning how to really make this a part of my life. I'm learning it CAN be. It takes consistent effort, determination, humility and a slew of other qualities I am trying to become. I know where it's coming from. From Christ. I give Him the credit for blessing my life in this way right now. I also know He would not be able to bless my life in this way if I wasn't seeking it and working for it and asking for it. It's true. I asked for it. Specifically, I said I want to be able to face my trials with joy. Then... He answered that prayer. It's how God works. He's patient and He wants to bless His children. I am completely humbled by what I'm feeling and seeing His hand guiding me and His eye watching over me. He is teaching me things I have only read about. Gratitude is just a word to describe what I don't have the words to express. Yep. I'll keep asking my questions and I will keep letting Him show me His way. As my friend keeps reminding me... God is good. This is phenomenal. More people should work to figure this out. Life is hard. That's not going to change. Facing the hard parts of life with peace and joy. That's a blessing only God could give. ...and it's not even Christmas. He gives good gifts to His children. Those gifts are available all year long. Come on, you know you want to give it a try. You want to trust God. Who else could you trust more?

8

  months... remember.

Super abundance

8 days

seek

hope

more

symbol...name

commitment

rebirth

resurrection

exaltation

breathing celestial air

infinity...eternity

Have an absurd idea?

"If at first the idea is not absurd, then there is no hope for it.” ~Albert Einstein

If Albert is right... There is a lot of hope for me, because lately, I've had a lot of absurd ideas.

Shedding the Shackles

"That Particular Time"

my foundation was rocked my tried and true way to deal was to vanish
my departures were old I stood in the room shaking in my boots
at that particular time love had challenged me to stay
at that particular moment I knew not run away again
that particular month I was ready to investigate with you
at that particular time

we thought a break would be good for four months we sat and vacillated
we thought a small time apart would clear up the doubts that were abounding
at that particular time love encouraged me to wait
at that particular moment it helped me to be patient
that particular month we needed time to marinate in what "us" meant

I've always wanted for you what you've wanted for yourself
and yet I wanted to save us high water or hell
and I kept on ignoring the ambivalence you felt
and in the meantime I lost myself
in the meantime I lost myself
I'm sorry I lost myself. I am

you knew you needed more time time spent alone with no distraction
you felt you needed to fly solo and high to define what you wanted
at that particular time love encouraged me to leave
at that particular moment I knew staying with you meant deserting me
that particular month was harder than you'd believe but I still left
at that particular time

Walking on Water

When I started this blog, I used the scripture in Matthew about Christ walking on water. At the time, I was waiting for Him to come walking across the stormy sea of my life, to reach out and rescue me, just like He did for Peter. I thought my 'fourth watch' had come, but He knew better. My fourth watch didn't come until last year; two years later. He DID come and I was sinking fast. A month or so ago, someone was relating this story about Peter walking on water in sacrament meeting. I've always loved this story because it was very reassuring that when the storms of life have begun to take over, I can reach out to Christ and He will extend His hand to me and pull me back up; save me from sinking. That Sunday when I heard the story, something clicked inside me. It occurred to me that Christ intended for Peter to WALK. ON. WATER. He intends for ME to walk on water. For all of us to walk on water. Sure, He's there to reach out and save us if/when we start to sink, but if we do, we get the same chastisement as Peter, 'O, ye of little faith'. I have always focused so much on the importance of reaching out for help when in need (an excellent lesson to learn) that I forgot that Peter's lack of faith is what got him there in the first place. He could have done it. He let fear enter his heart. Peter's FIRST lesson to me is to not do what he did, which is to let fear cast out his faith. Christ wants me to have the kind of faith it takes to walk on water. That's what he expects of me. That's what I am now trying to do each day. I'm walking on water folks, across the smooth glassy water of calm days and when the storms blow up and it seem like they want to knock me down, under the crashing waves. I like this picture because He is walking across the water, through the stormy sea... calmly showing me it CAN be done. Not walking away or toward me... simply showing me what He expects of me and where He expects me to go. He expects me to have the faith to walk through any tempest that may rage. And He will lead me through... all the way through until I arrive on the correct side of through. Closer to Him. I no longer think of this story as inspiration to reach out when I'm sinking. It has become inspiration to never hear the words, 'O, ye of little faith'. So I will keep my eyes on Him and keep walking, especially when the seas of life are rough. 'Well done' is what I want to hear and, I suspect it is what Christ would rather say to me or anyone. I am grateful to Peter for both lessons his life experience has taught me. Lesson 2 has kept me reaching out to the Savior when I am sinking. Let's face it, we all have days we feel like we are sinking. It's a lesson I will always remember. However, I have skipped over the first lesson for too long. Time to get out of boat... in fact, I've enthusiastically jumped out of the boat, come what may, and walking on water is exactly what I intend to do, in all I do.

The picture is by Julius Von Klever, it was painted in 1890. A giclee of this painting now hangs in my office. I see it 5 days a week, 9 hours a day... reminding me that I am supposed to follow Him, right across the stormy seas of life. He knows I can... He wants me to... I want to... walk on water. It's a choice. I can do this. After all, With God all things are possible.

25 weeks later - Am I Okay?

‎"You must constantly ask yourself these questions: Who am I around? What are they doing to me? What have they got me reading? What have they got me saying? Where do they have me going? What do they have me thinking? And most important, what do they have me becoming? Then ask yourself the big question: Is that OKAY? Your life does not get better by chance, IT GETS BETTER BY CHANGE." Jim Rohn

I'm going to say, yes... I am okay.

Anne of Green Gables

A good friend shared this quote with me recently:

Anne says to Merilla "haven't you ever been in the depths of despair?", and Merilla answers "I most certainly have not...to despair, is to turn your back on God"

I really couldn't say it any better than that.

Everything you ever wanted to know of death, dying, heaven & hell... ok, just kidding not EVERYTHING...

“The spirits of the just are exalted to a greater and more glorious work; hence they are blessed in their departure to the world of spirits. Enveloped in flaming fire, they are not far from us, and know and understand our thoughts, feelings, and motions, and are often pained therewith.” (Joseph Smith, TPJS, pg. 325)

“I am sure many of you know that the veil can be very thin—that there are people over there who are pulling for us—people who have faith in us and who have great hopes for us, who are hoping and praying that we will measure up—our loved ones (parents, grandparents, brothers, sisters, and friends) who have passed on.” (Ezra Taft Benson, TETB, pg. 31)

“If we are faithful to our religion, when we go into the spirit world, the fallen spirits—Lucifer and the third part of the heavenly hosts that came with him,... the whole of them combined will have no influence over our spirits.... All the rest of the children of men are more or less subject to them, and they are subject to them as they were while here in the flesh.

If we conquer here and overcome in the Gospel, in the spirit world our spirits will be above the power of evil spirits....

When death is past, the power of Satan has no more influence over a faithful individual: that spirit is free, and can command the power of Satan.” (Brigham Young, JD, 7: 241)

“It is the righteous who go to paradise....The righteous, those who have kept the commandments of the Lord, are not shut up in any such place, but are in happiness in paradise. They cease from all this trouble, and trial, and tribulation, and anguish of soul. They are free from all these torments, because they have been true and faithful to their covenants.” (Joseph Fielding Smith, DS, 2:229-230)

“When we pass into the spirit world we shall possess a measure of his power. Here, we are continually troubled with ills and ailments of various kinds. In the spirit world we are free from all this and enjoy life, glory, and intelligence; ” (Brigham Young, Discourses of Brigham Young, pg. 380-381)

“Where then does the spirit go, on its departure from its earthly tabernacle? It passes to the next sphere of human existence, called the world of spirits, a veil being drawn between us in the flesh, and that world of spirits. Well, says one, is there no more than one place in the spirit world? Yes, there are many places and degrees in that world, as in this.” (Parley P. Pratt, JD, 1:9; Heber C. Kimball, JD, 4:135-136)

“Is a Saint subject to the power of the Devil in the spirit world? No, because he has gained the victory through faith, and can command Satan, and he must obey. How is it with the wicked? The Devil has power over them to distress and afflict them: they are in hell.” (Brigham Young, JD, 7:174)

“Those who have died without the Gospel are continually afflicted by those evil spirits, who say to them–‘Do not go to hear that man Joseph Smith preach, or David Patten, or any of their associates, for they are deceivers.’” (Brigham Young, JD, 3:371)

“ It is the righteous who cease from those things that trouble. Not so with the wicked. They remain in torment. They have their anguish of soul intensified, if you please, when they get on the other side, because they are constantly recalling to mind their evil deeds. They are aware of their neglected opportunities, privileges in which they might have served the Lord and received a reward of restfulness instead of a reward of punishment. And so they remain in torment until the time comes for their deliverance...” (Joseph Fielding Smith, DS, 2:229-230)